Another Poem

speak to me I comfort, dat was ma rule
ma rule to feed ma soul with pple happiness
make them laugh so that i wont forget the taste of that kinda pleasure
the pleasure of bein alive, to hide the truth
u cud see me that way, back from today,
4get what ive been through, it wont change a thing
but am still holdin some hope, a hope that wont last
I already know whats gonna happen next, and it will happen,
I set many ways to handle dis fact, it wasnt meant 4 me, am in deep pain..
cause pple never felt whats in the heart,
I push them away yet my heart screams and weeps 4 them to stay,
I always wanted to know how it feels like to be special..
not by words, anybody can do that, am sick of dis shit.. i realy am..
pple keep sayin dat am special.. in other word "RETARD"
if you think dat am special. why do u keep insulting me?
why dun ya just show me some love? fine 4get about love.. how about RESPECT??
its easy to mess with a fragile soul,
a soul that always wanted to be warmed,
its too much to ask i know... its just a dream, NO!!
more like a death wish, like the last breath before the drowning
am still hiden in the shadows, I dun have anything to lose,
therez no such a thing called 4ever love,,, it can stay for a year, or two, ok maybe more
but they break up with the one who always was at their side
they break your heart by loving someone else
I heal their hearts and warm them with embrace,
then they tear me apart, and leave ma heart with nothing but a deep scar,
Bleeding and Bleeding till de last drop... I do nothin .. just tryin to get on ma feet again
tryin not to fall into madness and anger, am soooo filled with hatred and sorrow..
but not with regret cause .... I never regret what i never had


spare me with your sympathy, i dun need that shit, dun try to comfort me,
am so ready, ready for a new start.. new ME.. dun worry, you will have ur share,
yet you wont like it... who cares?? ya never liked the old me anyway..
that will make it much easier for me to hurt anybody with no guilt...